Can I just take you all to the place where things came together in a heavy way for me. By heavy I mean the weight of glory. By glory I mean God's presence, and boy do I really not "get it".
It is very easy to answer or regurgitate "God's glory",...blah, blah, blah, right? I totally am not at present in a spiritual place where this weight holds me down to worship. And I think it should. Not the manifestation of the Glory, just the idea.
Moses, Aaron and his sons are in the front of the tent of meeting. Moses says, "This is the thing which the LORD has commanded you to do,
that the glory of the LORD may
appear to you". By the way this is all the way up in chapter 9. However, it is the purpose for the all laws previously stated regarding sacrifice and offering. The end of chapter 9 states, "...when all the people saw it [glory], they shouted and fell on their faces." What the hell did they see? I can tell you some visible ways God has caused people to get down before him. A.K.A. - burning bush, mighty angels, all consuming mountain fire. Again, I digress.
Where I find myself not fitting in is, the understanding of coming before my LORD. These high priest brought the Presence of the LORD to the people, you'll read. So I am trying to figure out how my High Priest, Jesus, is doing this for me. Then comes the truth, crystal clear and ringing in my hollowed head like a shout in the Grand Canyon. The people came and followed Moses and Aaron. The presence was not a 24/7 ongoing experience for the Israelite. The LORD was always represented in the form of high priests and sacrifices, but His glory he reserved for when he wanted it revealed. Like a miracle of Jesus, gift of the Holy Spirit, or vision from the prophets the weight of the glory of God comes when He wishes to administer it to His people.
So as we read, we wait. A week. A year. A lifetime? I have already read and experienced enough of God's grace to be saved and acknowledge Him as God. There is nothing else I must have. He will never owe me any glimpse of Light. But still he lavishes His truth to those who do not suppress the knowledge of God.
I think I am learning about how to worship God again. Not to mean I understand worship. But I do mean that I have a sacrifice to bring, a Christ to follow and a God whose glory I long to shout and fall over for. So I'll wait, until He desires to rush in and crash into me.
wheww...
B